happyforever

2009-11-13T10:32:00.003+08:00

Now at,

2009-06-27T16:42:00.003+08:00

hey you!

im surprised that you still bother to come to this rotting space that plays the same old song over and over and over again that you must have got so accustomed to clicking the stop button of that player the moment this page loads, riiiiight? hahahhaha!

it's ok, don't have to lie, cos me too (:

and yes! finally a new post & no more of Emily's face. :D

thank you for still bothering to check this space once in a while & many apologies for the looonnng hiatus!

im really wondering who still comes here.

hellloooo, anyone there? :D

but, this will be my last post here.

gon' put this close to 3 years stack of memories aside & maybe, come back once awhile & laugh at all the nonsensical stuffs i said here. ok, i allow you to laugh too (:

but no no no, i said last post here,

i din say im not going to blog ever again (:

so you guys, are gon' come with me to another place. :D

starting afresh,

[ Happiness is only real, when shared ♥ ]

to the sweetcup :j

2009-05-11T23:55:00.000+08:00

a blessed 17th
to my beautifully bless'd one (:

the bestest.
the most love.
&, the most irritating.
but, i've still got plentiful of ai for you (:

"im me when im with you"
too.

<3

Locked away.

2009-05-07T00:46:00.001+08:00

deviantart;

Typed, Backspaced, Typed again, Backspaced again.
Phrased and rephrased. No words seemed to fit at all & even if it does, i was afraid it'd be too direct & no, i don't want to hurt anybody. cos' that's not my point. In fact, it never was.

Denying isn't gonna help & reality is still gonna hit straight back at you again, hard.
Reality is the name we give to our disappointments.
& sometimes, we just gotta be honest with ourselves.
This is reality.

They say, the reality is cruel. & I think for too long, i've always believed and pictured the world to be not that bad a place like how many said it is. Despite certain things that had proved me wrong, i still wanted to believe and hold on to that speck of hope and faith - that genuineness do exist. Do they still?

I thought & i think, & it's i thought and i think again. "You thought wrong." How many have i already thought wrongly then? Things that i heard, things that i've realised & come to know. What's real & what's not, I don't think i know how to tell them apart anymore.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. & i've always try to live by this. Share the love and spread the joy to others, & they will too. Look out and watch out for others, & they will too. Be there for them & stand by them, & they will too. & don't hurt or crush them, & they won't too. But then again, this is reality.

Life's twist and turns. & i can remember saying that in the beginning of the year that i'm not quite ready for it. & sure enough, i don think i got myself ready in time.

It's been a bumpy rollercoaster ride. All the sudden jerks and unexpected upturns. & I asked God many times why. There's always a lesson to learn, but why do i have to learn it the hard way? Why did You give and take it away? What is it that You want me to learn? Is it all that easy? To forget? To dispose? To put aside? To move on? And when i cried out for comfort, You told me this. Isaiah 40; When all i wanted was to stick onto what i've always thought i know, but when more odds came rushing in & reality left no room for mercy, when the heart battled hard & tried t push away all the neg emotions, emotions tt'll build nastier emotions & i don't want tht... i wanted so much to hear from You. And, you showed me, Mark 11:22-25. & it hit me, simple & clear.

Yes, i heard you.
A choice, made from the heart.
Like how you did to all of us, w no conditions.

& Thank you, for every little thing. Looking back, i can safely say that there were no regrets. Though through this period of time, you never really showed bit of concern on how im getting by, disappointed cos' you didn't feel the need to ask & it just tells me that i've got to let go, like how fast you did. But thank you, again. I know you're happy now.

Pack up and lock away.
Brace up now.
You're not alone.

It's time to get back on track.

"Sometimes we must get hurt in order to grow, we must fail in order to know,
Sometimes our vision clears only after our eyes are washed away with tears."

"I'll be there for you."

2009-04-29T20:09:00.006+08:00

Swelling mad & Sore D':

Ppl must be thinking im cold. (but im not! D: )I can't talk much, & I can't smile to anyone. I try, but the pain will be too much to bear & i'll switch off.

Nobody said it was easy, but no one ever said it would be this painful. I don't know is it sth my body's lacking but I know im prone to ulcers, & the metals are doing a great job in making it worse. Now i can't brush teeth or eat without tearing..

But thanks Neh, for the wax. at least it's helping or i really cant imagine..
Char said, "I can feel the pain just talking to you". i guess it really looks that bad...

I need Vitamin CCC.
& I hate Listerineee.

I'll update more ay once my mind can think straight.
cos meanwhile, it really can't. half of the time.
Quickkk, i want to laugh away with everybodyyy!

& ohgoose.. i can't even read out what i just typed. D:

2009-04-27T01:23:00.001+08:00

Usually gentle and kind, they are intense and passionate about their values and deeply held beliefs, which they share with trusted friends. Because of their discreet manner, their enthusiasm may not be apparent. They are sensitive to others' pain, restlessness or general discomfort and strive to find happiness, balance and wholeness for themselves in order to help others find joy, satisfaction and plenitude. They are deeply empathetic.

They live life in an intently personal fashion, acting on the belief that each person is unique and that social norms are to be respected only if they do not hinder personal development or expression. They strive to adhere to their own high personal moral standards and are particularly sensitive to inconsistencies in their environment between what is being said and what is being done. Empty promises of adhering to something they value – such as environmental causes or human rights - set off an inner alarm and they may transform themselves into modern day Joan of Arcs.

They are quietly persistent in raising awareness of cherished causes and often fight for the underdog in quiet or not-so-quiet ways. In a team, they will raise issues of integrity, authenticity, and good or bad, and may to opt out if the team refuses to address the questions raised.

They are usually tolerant and open-minded, insightful, flexible and understanding. They live for the understanding of others and feel deeply grateful when someone takes the time to get to know them personally. They have good listening skills, are genuinely concerned, insightful, and usually avid readers. At their best, they inspire others to be themselves.

Personality tested.
Agree?

2009-04-25T02:23:00.004+08:00

I can't really believe it, but yes it's true (:

This is one of the big things to me, & i wanna share w you (:
(wow it rhymes! haha.)

I'm starting to feel the pain more & more & it's getting really uncomfortableeee. Every teeth's hurting like mad now & though i've got a lil slightly higher tolerance for pain, i've still yet to master tolerating any pain in the mouthhh. ): im trying hard not to put focus on it but... RENNN GIRL. come on, you have tooo. haw mummyyy.

& dammit smack, i really can't eat properly now. all i can do is try hard enough to mash the food w the tongue. if good, you get to swallow. if not, you get everything else stuck everywhere and spend more time picking food out than actually eating! & i'll lost my appetite by then ): now i feel for Neh. & i ate wanton but only the kway tiao. i can't even chew vegg! : O & im so so so hungry right now that the gastric juices are acting up but there's nothing suitable tt i can eat ): this is so not gon help much when my appetite's really shaky now. i lost 3 kgs in 1 week last week, like what the p o.o but it's cos i lost my appeptite.. & just when i think i can eat more now, ahhhh ): HUNGRYYYY.

hen tong hen tong hen tonggg!

okay, bear w my rants first ay guys. i know ppl had given million warnings bout the pain but im still TRYING to adapt and numb myself to all of it. & i still got a long way to goo. ): & gah, ~~i don think any happy pills will help now cos i probably cant even eat them. ok wait, no more happy pills.~~

(edit)

i think i need happy pills now. alot of it.

from all the rubbings & abrasions,

you'll won't believe it but..

5 ulcers horribly popped out )':

& now, i cant talk much..

take away the painnnnn pls..

(/edit)

oh great, its 3+AM & im still very awake.

(Feelings change - memories don't.)

2009-04-22T01:01:00.005+08:00

So school started like 3 days ago but everyone feels like they're still in lala mood.

it's been kuku years since i sat in a lecture hall, & it feels like im watching teevee minus the really interested part. i couldn't really sit still luh, & all the theatres are freezingly mad cold! gahhh. seriously couldn't tahan the colddd but, i still happily forget to bring along my jacket for 3 days. stm or what!

i know that im in school but it doesn't feel that i am. okay, does that even make any sense? & it doesn't help much when our timetable is still so urgg! as ever. wed is full blast lecture day & i almost died during the 3hr lect today. THREE, AGAIN. 1 hr through the thing & seriously cannot, zaooo. & i still have to take CDS this semmmmmmm! & the only one that doesn't clash with our timetable is - Introduction to Singapore Law. let's say WOW.

but something happy bout's that Cass is now in TP, so (: Met her yesterday in sch at Mushroom then went over to Starbucks to have a lonnnnggg chat. & it's amazing how i can always enjoy our chatting session, though 3/4 of the time she's the one doing th talking (: But yes, I had a great time with you girl! & i went down to Bugis for 2 consecutive days. hahaha.

3 days alr, but my arms & legs are still aching a lil after that super tiring 2-9:30PM cycling escapade w Role. but am loving it. Talking while cycling's the love. Feeling the cold wet air rushing on the face, breathing in the fresh air which smells of rain, seeing the lightning flashed across the long stretch of night sky, for a moment, everything felt good..

okay, before i continue on with anything, i really wanna say this,

a great big thanks; to all who've stayed by me & for being there at my lowest. for the ears, the shoulders, the time & embracing me when im at my weakest. You, you know who you are, thank you so much. & i've already said them in the msgs. Thank you Lord, for them. cos they are the ones who i know will stand by all the way, no matter what.. no matter what.

My pillars of strength, always strong, always true.

Don't worry guys. All i need is time, & alot of strength now. As the days go by, I came to realise how scary it is that people can change so quickly. It's even more scarier when it's someone so close. Everything i knew, wasn't exactly what i know, after all. So much left unsaid, but i guess.. it's okay now. I don't know how hard it is, but i'll try. Cos it don matter to you no more.

You feel insignificant, a whisper in the wind
Sometimes you think nobody knows your name
But there's Somebody watching over you
And He knows everything you're going through

He sees every single tear
He feels everything you're feeling
He wants to hold you close and dry your eyes
Your heart is what He hears
When the world just hears you crying
No matter what the pain, He cares
About every single tear

Overwhelmed by circumstances out of your control
Hope can be the hardest thing to find
When you're like a heart without a home
You don't have to face this hurt alone

On a random note, the separators in my teeth had been bugging me. It's like there is not enough strength to bite. This slipped my mind when i was searching the fridge for sth to eat. i saw the Subway cookies, & happily broke a small part, tried biting an even smaller part, & almost immediately after, i put the rest of the cookies back.. ): cause i couldn't bite and eat!

Friday's the day. & im a little scared ):

Let it go, Let it be;

2009-04-17T15:50:00.002+08:00

hold me close..

& tell me everything's gon be okay...

i so need a hug now..

Where's my angel?

2009-04-17T02:19:00.005+08:00

2009-04-15T18:20:00.002+08:00

this fear that i've always try so hard to keep out...

i thought this time i can trust again..

2009-04-14T23:57:00.003+08:00

Cherish is the word.

Remember the past,
plan for the future,
but live for today..

because yesterday is gone,
and tomorrow may never come.

Cliche as it is about living today like there's no tomorrow. & easy to say than done. Truest as it is, you'll never really know, til you really lose it. But, why wait til then? Tomorrow might just never come.. So cherish.

2009-04-12T22:16:00.003+08:00

ROARS.
i have no kuku idea why
the stomach's twisting like mad now!
owwwwwwwwww..

this week's gon start off busy busy.

Mon; tour at the Turf Club w the class. quite excited to see how everything operate there & of cos, the horses :D & sleepover at Role's for the night - baking! potato korokeee plssss! hahahah.

Tue; Rare peeks into the zoo hospital, w the class again. I'm aniticpating many many eye-openers (:

JUST FOR LAUGHS :D

★ says:
meet at 915am

★ says:
at TAF

★ says:
cannot be late

ther ♥ says:
oh yaa

ther ♥ says:
TAF

ther ♥ says:
at whr ah?

★ says:
cos we taking some chartered bus

ther ♥ says:
TAF's at kranji

ther ♥ says:
?

★ says:
NO!

★ says:
TAF is temasek animal facility!

★ says:
wat is wrong w you

★ says:
THER?!

ther ♥ says:
O.O

ther ♥ says:
ooopsss!

ther ♥ says:
OMGGGG

ther ♥ says:
i was thinking of the TURF CLUBBBB

ther ♥ says:
-.-

ther ♥ says:
hahahahhahahahahahahahha!

heeheehee!
sorry ah, the brain's not functioning really well.
& someone's gon say, "AS ALWAYS."
HOIIIIIIIIIIII.
:D

yayyy, meeting th girls finallyyy (:

& ahh, im sup to do my reportttt! : O

& PLS GET WELL SOON HAOBUDD.

( :

2009-04-11T23:10:00.005+08:00

after hearing the live acoustic band play last night at the bar in orchard, suddenly i felt like playing the guitar too at that instant. hhahahhaha.

i came across the song that's playing at my sidebar now & loveee it! & i just kept playing it on the guitar just now. beautiful song, for the Beautiful One (:

imma shareee (:
Here are the chords:
(This Is Our God.)

Yesterday was Good Friday,
to remember the day when He laid his life down for us..

Sinners yes we are,
all tainted & scarred,
with all kinds of backgrounds,
with the darkest secret kept away,
but yet,
He knows everything..

& this had been going on in my mind for the whole day -
that He still choose to love us,
& choose to lay down His life for us..
just to set us free from the sins of the world & our past..
to give us a new life, a whole new beginning.
A second chance.

that's how much He loves us... you & me.

And so our Good Friday's drama had finally come to a close, in the happiest note.

& it really makes the heart smile as you feel the joy from the others. how the tension lightened each time someone comes back into the backstage with a big smile on their face after each scene. how you just know that everyone in the backstage are encouraging you on when on stage. how we hugged each other when finally, we can all shout, "It's overrr!" (:

& i really thank God for all of them,
the brothers from Charis Mission,
the ICs,
my papa,
the time-keepers/mike ICs,
Lydia, Weishun & Samuel & the rest..

As the practices gets more & more each week,
& as frustrations, fear, negative thoughts & every other hindrance that starts to make us waver & doubt,
it is the constant reminder of how much these dear ones are forking out time & effort for God, for this drama, for not giving up,
that motivates me each time & feel all thankful for.

I never really knew how difficult it is to be in a drama crew until i really experienced it for myself.
we always only get to see the end-product of what is made up of sky-high effort, unity, co-operations, encouragements, patience, pressure, tears, frustrations, struggles which built up along the way.
but now, i felt it all.
first-hand.

how i see some of them at the verge of breaking down.
how i felt the amount of pressure that they're trying to suppress deep within.
how i felt like crying too when we come together to pray & remind ourselves to walk by Faith & not by sight cos He's with us.
how i learn to trust even more that all things will come to good at the end.
how i learn to be sensitive to the needs of the people around me &,
use the most powerful tool - our mouths & our words to encourage others..

Thank God that you saw us through,
Thank God for this rare experience,
& thank God,

for loving us, all of us.

Freely You gave it all for us
Surrendered Your life upon that cross
Great is the love
Poured out for all
This is our God

thank you for all who came down (:

& the noob for your encouragements (:

& i just realised i've got no photos!
what the pong!
HOW CANNNNNNNN!

hahahahha.

"你对你自己就那么没有信心啊?"
"我几时有过信心... "

2009-04-09T00:22:00.002+08:00

Nick scared the wits out of me just now laaa!

I've no kuku ideas what got into him,

but he started limping & walked in such an awkward manner,

like all of a sudden.

my heart nearly stopped pls.

first thing that came to mind was:

"Huh?? Is it becos he's old & i've overwalked him?? Are his legs stiffening???"

I thought (like seriously for a moment) that his legs are gon' go paralysed!

that, seriously freaked me out.

i changed bit of our usual route today, longer.

& i figured that could be the problem.

the stupid limping thing happened when we were walking on the pathway beside the main road.

& just for those who are concern,

dear Nick is actually...

1. an ultra sissy

2. he is a scaredy-cat

3. he's scared of shadows

& aft thinking hard & ruling out the possibilities,

i really think it's the shadows,

which appeared, for some reasons, much more clearer beside the main roads.

& in case you don't know,

he's a mega puller. (like most dogs are.)

but he literally halted and lingered behind me, & crouched when he walked.

if its not the two that i mentioned,

i was actually thinking too that he might have seen something else la!

but okayyyyy,

that sissy scaredy-cat of mine got back to normal after i carried him & went back to our usual route - under the blocks and carparks.

which is darker,

and so (i think) fainter shadows....

-.-

SISSY BOY.

hahahhahahahahahha!

but seriously im scared,

i think Nick's getting old....

ok no,

he IS old ):

ok on a super random note,

i've been feeling the shopping mood since morning.

& i really really feel like getting my butt out of the house tmrw.

Tampines 1 is officially opening tmrw & I IS WANT TO GO!

& from what i heard from other promoters, there's John Little Mega Sale at Expo tmrw too!

& i feel like watching movieeeeeeeees!

i heard Knowing's good!

& Shopaholics too!

dammmittt smack!

but i think no one's freeeee.

Yi never reply me ):

Cass' happily at Genting now.

Mummy's working tmrw i think.

& i dunno bout the rest....

bummer.

& the phone looks pretty dead to me too now.

finally a rest day for me, but i have no plans!

PONG SAI.

& i've decided not to work for the last week of sch hols...

i think i want to leave some time aside to do what i want to do.

ok bah.

i is got no mood now.

anw,

to the dear brothers & sisters who're giving in their all for this Fri's drama,

i know everyone's stressed out,

cos i can feel the tension.

but He's with us through it all,

so, let's give in our best together, for Him (:

& you know He's delighting in whatever we're doing (:

2009-04-08T22:20:00.002+08:00

just got back home & woah i can feel the headache coming up...

but i guess imma bring Nick down for a slow long walk..

i think i need a breather..

2009-04-07T00:59:00.004+08:00

Only in the darkest, will the lights shine their brightest;

was tilting towards the moody side before this,

but when i saw the lights all lit up,

it gave me this really fuzzy warm feeling..

say im smart t figure them out.

heeheehee.

& they look beautiful,

really beautiful.. (:

& the lights remind me of that verse again,

"our weakness is made perfect in His grace"

the darkness being our weakness,

& His grace the light.

thank you (:

now where should i hang them all?

oh & sidetrackkk,

i hate eating lunch alone!

gahhh.

2009-04-06T01:05:00.001+08:00

its one of those days again,

where i know there's something stirring inside,

but i don't know exactly what.

guess i'll just let the emotions take over..

heehee.

i've been getting lazier to blog each time.

feels like a chore just churning out feelings & events into words.

hahaha :D

& i've got hundreds of photos taken but kept away piling in the phone.

alright!

i'll share share share,

soon :D

updates:

5-day attachment at Mt Pleasant is over. Tho not much to do, but can't deny that we saw alot & helped sort out quite clearly where we wanna head to in the road ahead.. (:

the stupid Noooob is backkkkk in action! hahahha :D

i skipped 800X today! my lower legs are aching mad nowwww.

& yes, im back into the working out & dieting craze again. uh oh : O

IM WORKING AT TAKA FROM MON TO WED. welcome to pop byyyyy anyone :D

still is one of the bestest song ever :D

Time has come, to stand for all that we believe in;

give me courage Daddy.

2009-03-29T22:40:00.002+08:00

Before the week comes to an end,

I want to thank all these people who made my 19th such a joy (:

Thank you,
Cass, Jiao, Fann.

the earliest sweets to celebrate for me (: its been such a looongg time since we gather like this & i can't deny that i enjoy the company of you 3! thank you Cass & Jiao, for the mini celebration & am lovingggg the brownieeee! :D & thanks ay Cass, for the hard flicks that got me into a real spasm in the middle of MS :D but still love you laaa. LOVE YOUUUU ALL! <3

Thank you,
Hen, Den, Jo, Role, Val, Yi & Fifa (:

You girls really made the day. Though the day started out crappy, with me losing my wallet when the day's not even started out good yet with you ladies. But thanks so much girls, all of you, for being there & help shoo away all those crappiness. Thanks for coming down Fifa, Val & Lover to celebrate for me (: & Thanks my dear PPH, for planning all these for me (: The laughters of you girls really lighten up my entire day! thanks for being there when i secretly knows deep that i need you girls <3

Thank you,
Neh (:

for my happy pills packed in REAL capsule pills :D Thanks sweet for the boost. from collecting all the capsules & squeeeeze your teeny weeny handwriting into those thinnnnn slips of papers. really! only your handwriting can make it those spaces :D don worry! im following yr prescription very closely! (: & i found the special pilllll :D & yes, i'll be there for you 24/7 too! Big huggles! <3

Thank you,
Haobudd (:

for the on the dot surprise & made me run around in the middle of the night cracking my brain. And no, your plan wasn't ruin just cos some random ppl decide to join in the fun and took away one of your envelopes before me! hahahaha. But thank you Haobudd! for coming all the way down, & going through all the effort to think up this with the cake & your song which is... amusing! HAHA. & for once, "you're still better than meeee" :D And i still think you secretly got a girl side in you! SERIOUSLY. how can your handicrafts be better than mine?? But really, your magazine just awed me. with Emily's, Lover's & PPH's msgs all in. even Nick got his part in too.... now! tell me you're a girl now! :D but, thanks so so much Noob.. Oops, you did it again! :D & Dempsey's still the love man! :D

Thank you,
Em (:

for your lovely hand-made collage (: Do you really mean what you say bout me being a great sister notttt. :D & shhhh! i've yet to deal with you bout my low ******* ohgay! but (: , thanks for being such a dear all these years!

Thank you,
Lydia (:

for the Lydia's only designed card. loving the aluminium "LOVE" (: thanks girl for your encouragements & wishings! & it is all these encouragements that spur me on time & time again, to look & focus on what's ahead & to continue moving ahead. you've been a great friend sweeeet! (:

Thank you,
Sailah, Joanna & Angeline!

Angeline for trying to trick me to get to the present when you said some customers insisted in buying the display bags. Stupid girl, made me think for a moment "huh? what a dumb customer pls??" :D AND O.O no wonder sailah say open when im back home. Thank you girls for the BIKINIIII! its tealllllllll :DD

Thank you,
Charissa (:

you surprised me when you said you got something for me. & you shocked me totally when you pulled out a pair of drum sticks. Thank you girl! for being so patient with me when teaching me drums & crashing course for over 2 practices & no more time, up on stage! :D Thank you for your encouragements throughout the practices & man, im motivated to learn faster now :D & lastly, Thank you so so much for the drum sticks! im gonna hug them to sleep. HAHAHA :D

& thank you to everybody else, sorry if i didn't mention your name, but i've heard all your wishings! Thank you for remembering, for wishing, for letting me know that you guys care! (: Appreciating it ALLLL (:

& woohoo! tmrw Jo & me's gonna start our much-awaited attachment at a real animal clinic. i seriously CAN'T WAIT :D let's hope we get there safely & hope the excitement won't kill my sleep. SEE YOU TMRW Jo! :D

& the Noob's off in Cambodia alr.

do take good care over there & hope you're doing fine now.

& YES.

i is gonna go sleep NOW.

& get myself a good 5 hours of sleep!

heehee.

g'nights now peeps (:

2009-03-24T05:25:00.001+08:00

don't threaten me.

don't.

2009-03-23T00:43:00.002+08:00

i don't know if it's the cold, the fatigue or the horrible throat that's making my whole body really uncomfortable.

the coughing's been bugging since morning.

& the throat's hurting like madness!

oh no no, not now.

i don't want to get sick nowww.

2009-03-21T02:07:00.003+08:00

i tell you, yesterday was teh loveeee!

cos work ended with 2 of my lovely sweets waiting for me outside the shop :D
Lover & the Noob.
happy or what?
:D

these 2 either have great minds or they must have planned to come together but actually act like they didn't llalalalla. hahahahhah!
but woohoo! they made the dayyyy!
lik tsk! just like that (:

Yi: "lover! finishing work at 10? meeting anybody afterwards?"
& so i thought she was near PS or sth BUT,

over the phone,
Me: "where are you?"
(with the most innocent voice ever)
Yi: "huh? at home laaa"
Me: "WHAAAATT? i thot you were nearby so that's why you asked. then you're gon come down from Tamp, meet, then take train w me back to Tamp again???"

Yi: " ya! :DDDD"
that's my lover for you. LOL!

& apparently, the Noob actually had telepathy w the Lover & decided to give me a last min surprise call & say he's coming down tooooo.

(:
that makes me a happy girl!

last night, the 2 came down.
tonight, none came down.
seeee! i really think they planned it or sth la!
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA.
i know, im keeedddin :D

(& everything which is sup to be here is GONE! RAHHHHHHH.)
MAN!

REALLY RANDOM CRAVINGS: JCO DONUTS & BROWNIEEEEEEE *ahhhhh!*

maybe things ain't as complicated as you think they are.
think simple;

2009-03-18T02:03:00.005+08:00

holidays, are really a love hate thing man.

love it,

cos this is probably the only time of the year that i can do whatever i want.

& i've got a long longggggg list.

just waiting for them to come true now.

hate it,

cos i've got so much free time to churn out unneccessary thoughts.

if only i could control the stupid brain.

but dammmitt, i can't.

give me a big heart.

help me to be a blessing to others.

many personal issues kept on surfacing.

& it just keeps coming during this period of time. & i don't know why.

yes, i felt lousy.

& i felt helpless.

& i was angry with myself for not trusting You enough...

but You said,

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they wil run & not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint."

♥

& there is still so much to be thankful for...

end of year results were of much surprise & out of expectation (thank God so much..)

i passed all modules ( i actually still get a C+ for MBio which i was so afraid i'd fail. & a B! for Animal Health Disease. thank God so so much again...)

He provides.

He didn't leave me all by myself when i really needed someone..

I've got work.

♥

will be working for the next 3 days.
& the next week.
& the next.
& i'm gonna keep myself busy busy busy.
ok, maybe not THAT busy.
hahahha.

& it feels nice looking forward to get off work knowing the day don't just end there.
so kudos to the haobudd that i get to feel it.
thanks moochooooo!
:D

♥

loving this!
: )

有時候太堅強　笑容卻填不滿眼眶
越是想要隱藏　歌聲就唱的更響亮
直到入到心底最深處
你不要追問我　還缺了些什麼

每個人都有夢　幸福總站在最遠方
心中越是渴望　越是不敢伸手擁抱
誰的心是我最後一站
我強問我自己　現在還沒有個答案

我不是你想像那麼勇敢
多想讓你保護能流淚一場
讓我放下武裝　像個孩子一樣
單純的把愛情放在你心上

我不是你想像總是扮演堅強
多想讓你知道我也要個伴
放下討厭武裝　像個孩子一樣
單純的把愛情放在你心上

我不是你想像的那麼勇敢

You mean more to me than any earthly thing;

2009-03-08T15:30:00.001+08:00

the insides are so struggling,

& battles are raging in the head..

you can do it.

2009-03-05T03:09:00.003+08:00

♥

Im really tight in the pockets now..

& am trying really hard not to worry.

2009-03-05T01:00:00.004+08:00

i was just thanking God today..

for all of these wonderful people (:

(pls don kill me when you see this up hereee!

ppl! say the photos are niceee! :D)

(and you is don't kill me toooo. hahah! cos you look better when rtard pls.)

it'll always stay the same (:

the bunch of sweets who ran so hard alongside, with me (:

through the all the ups & downs, thick and thins!

I IS MISS YOU.

cos i still haven meet you!

& today really turned out to be a good day (as i've predicted in the morning. haha!)

after 9 months of not seeing each other, & all the hiccups here & there that ended up in us canceling dates, today's meetup w Char totally made my day man! i really hated feeling that we're drifting & all we need is just one free day & one meeting. But it was so hard with stupid sch work and the fact that's she's super busyy. Plus that, i totally can't msg this girl cos her msgs are so deaddddd. like ahhh! hahaha.

But, all was good good good(:

& im glad we can still go "I'VE GOT SO MUCH TO TELL YOUUUU!"

haww(:

oh ya!

& i've got the best nooobfriend in the world man!

& meeting PingPongHualas tmrw.

wooooooot.

can we go tanning sooooon? (:

Friends are the angels on earth.
yep(:

2009-03-04T01:12:00.002+08:00

all of a sudden i...

wish that i have a baking oven in the house now cos i've been wanting to try baking for the longest time
have bubbles of brownies & cookies popping out from the head
feel like eating fish & chips at Fish & Co.
want to go cycling
want to have the chalet that PPH's talking bout, so that we can swim, bbq, cycle, run, watch sunrise, wake up all together.
fear something
am afraid that history will repeat...
am very stressed over all th things that i have on hand now
want to go Dempseyyyyyy
feel like going star gazing and talk bout anything

woww. that's a long list of all-of-a-suddens.
ok, im starting to feel a headache coming.
dammmmit w the arm swing.

im really wondering how fast im gonna master "Now & Forever" by Richard Marx by Sun. Oh Lord, please give me grace. I'm needing alot of it.

& in case you guys start wondering why, its for my Dad & Mum's 20th annivasary. (:

You know... sometimes, its so difficult to believe that anything in this world'll really last for good. But when i see Daddy & Mummy, through it all, they remind me that maybe sometimes they do.. ok, i seriously need major lot of courage for the thing i'm gonna do for them. & not to forget the other stuff i need to get done BEFOR SUN. TIME TIME TIMEEE. i need hellpppppp!

& now, i really hope this holiday'll will be good one that at the end of it, i can look back & smile, knowing that i can keep all safely in th heart cos all are good..

& ITS MARCH ALR.
time don just fly now, it's scarily blasting off!

okk,
the heart shall just sit & anticipate for all the things that's yet to come now.

time will show it all;

2009-03-02T18:26:00.002+08:00

hearing the rain pour,

& the raindrops blurring the world outside,

little sunshine, where are you?

i need you..

masking the vulnerability is what i've taught myself to do all these while. & im getting quite good at it. but no matter how good i can get, the One above knows everything. cos He looks at the heart, & not the outward appearance. & w words unsaid, He still sees through every little bit that's going on deep down inside. & i don't have to do anything.. no words, no explaining. & He says, "I know, I know.."

I think i need a hug now..

Get well soon.

2009-02-28T23:20:00.003+08:00

before i start blabbering on about the holidays that i can hug so tight to now (im SO never gonna let you go!) i want to finish this up,

0 days
END OF TORTURE.

1 day
INTO COMPLETE LIBERATION.

im so happy that i can squeeezze you tight til you go out of breath :D

but for now,

i cant wait to hit to bed!

keep quiet!

YES AT ONLY 11:26PM.

but i bu care ok.

im gonna get back all those lost hours of beauty sleep.

(i slept an ave. of 1-2 hours during exam madness for TWO WEEKS ok! not funny.)

i'm so gon get rid of those eyes rings & ooglyy zits!

RAHHH.

haggard was what my mum said ok!

o.o!

so just quick upzzzz! on what i've alr did:

met up with dear Cass! (like omgosh FINALLY!) don laugh at the 10 thing huh!
ate Pastamaniaaaa :D
slept for a big fat 9 hours last night! (like BEAMS ^^) ok Noob don't jealous. hahhah! you're gon get back lik friggin 18 hours now pls. grrr. haha!
ate a proper slowwww Breakfast. (booster pls! :D)
I SWAM
a whole night & evening w the youths (:
&, i got a cut on the face. credits to my prooooo Lydia! hahahahah!

& there's more to come.

seriously,

I CANT WAIT.

are you excited?

I AM.

:D:D:D

2009-02-28T15:52:00.000+08:00

THIS! is going into the want-to-dos! QUICKKK SOOON!!! :D

2009-02-26T23:59:00.002+08:00

Song on Play: Tomorrow

mood to study: zero

needed concentration to study: zero

motivation for the last night: zero

current mind status: very occupied & wandering

the words are there but not there.

AHHH!

why does it sound like nothing matters?

2009-02-26T20:04:00.005+08:00

i know this may sound silly,

but once in a long while,

i secretly envy people who have parents or whoever that'll come down to drive them home

wherever whenever...

2009-02-25T12:42:00.003+08:00

MORE DAYS TO END OF TORTURE!

to my girls:
just a few more laps dears!
we have been running for so long & so hard,
& im very excited to say,
that this race is ending soon.

gear up!
we're gonna finish this together!

<3

to yi:
i miss you so much! ):

last lap for you tmrw!
& hope you see this in time (:

LOVER TING NI OH :D
<3

to all the dear ones:
don't give up now!
we're gonna finish this with a beautiful note!
(:

2009-02-25T12:22:00.002+08:00

shall i be nice or not?

NOT.

hhahahhahah!

pls don kill me.

hahahhahahaha!

HAPPY #18 BIRTHDAY,
NO BRAINER NOOB!
:D

ENJOY YOUR DAY! (:
(while i continue slaying ugly flat white sheets!)
don't forget to bring along your noob brain to celebrate today ay!

2009-02-23T18:54:00.002+08:00

SHOUTS:

THERE'S POTATO CARROT SOUP FOR DINNERRRRRRR!! :D :D :D

that'll probably boost me up for the night.

stay strong and hold on guys!

walk by Faith & not by sight.

& i thank God for angels...

COUNTDOWN:

4 MORE DAYS TO END OF TORTURE.

2009-02-22T01:54:00.002+08:00

on a side note, im really thinking and putting in deep deep consideration about switching to Wordpress.

but.. that'll mean i'll be ending this 2 years and more relationship with Blogger.

this is when indecisiveness is so not helping.

now what?

2009-02-22T01:14:00.002+08:00

“爸爸，妈妈。。。
能成为你们的女儿，
是我最幸福的事。。。”

我最幸福的事

當過你的天使

趁鼻酸能掩飾

讓我們像當時擁抱最後一次

最幸福的事

吹蠟燭時你總為我許願的手勢

為摯愛的人

在左邊心口保留位置

是最幸福的事

2009-02-21T23:52:00.009+08:00

i realised i've not been putting up pictures alr ahh.

all those that i said i will in time to come,

it never did come true ay?

hahahahahhaa :D

Long overdue Visuals;

CNY 2009.

i din know we have so many of these in the house.

i've always thought its only a few bottles kept away in the cupboard.

okkkk; ignore the black dot on my lip for almost all the pictures.

stupid cold soreeee. spoil all my peeks.

gahhh!

the cutest pair that i could ever ask for (:

home-cooked food are still the best yo!

NAINAIIIIII :D

the scab on my lips peeled offff.

that's why no more black dot but RED BLOODY dot.

ew.

CNY over.

EXAM MADNESS now!

2009-02-20T13:54:00.003+08:00

i've been waiting for THIS to come out since like foreverrrr!
now, it's waiting for the big fat exams to get off & here i come!

can't waittt :D

2009-02-19T12:21:00.001+08:00

Where can I go from Your presence
Under Your wings I take refuge..

2009-02-16T09:57:00.003+08:00

Gah, what's with the giddiness!

I still have a long day to go...

Please, go away..

Please Lord, take this giddiness & nauseous feeling away.

2009-02-13T01:32:00.002+08:00

okay, im not gon care & go over the line just this tiny little time.

i need to keep those eyes open & make myself happy!

sooo i bu care alr!

IM GON EAT YOU ROCHES!

let's just ignore the 3 ulcers that's really starting to get in the way when im talking.

let's just ignore that im starting to pu-zhua (heaty in another words).

let's just ignore that NO CHOC policy which i've tried hard to keep to for a few fat months.

the throat's hurting : X

oh gosh.

i can feel the fatigue building up.

aft days of accumulation.

i thought sleeping was a luxury?

i din know what went wrong w me last night.

i fell aslp while studying & so i thought i'd just sleep & get up later in the night to continue again.

but i got up suddenly at 3, still half conscious, & i din knw why i went to get my notes to read but end up falling asleep awhile later.

but again, i woke up suddenly at 4, & this time i was really urggg bout the sleeping & sudden waking thang.

its like, im not getting enough sleep & none of the notes were going in if im gon just read bits & pieces of it.

but all in all, i ended up sleeping for less than an hour half.......

thank God that i managed to still make it through today's practical test & the rest of the day.

the eyes are really closing on me now.

but i've still got so much undone! ............

& it's again,

so many things,

but so little time.

& a little add-on this round,

so little energy

&, so little brain space.

woooo!

im actually like nodding off while doing whatever im doing right now.

POWER TO THE MAX PLSZXZX.

random cravings: BEEF LASAGNE (:D! ahhahahah!)

HUNGRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AHHH!

2009-02-11T20:58:00.000+08:00

O.O?!

LOL!

2009-02-11T20:39:00.003+08:00

hate to know that changes are parts and parcels of life,

& that i've yet to get this hard fact right in..

2009-02-06T01:29:00.003+08:00

"The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment."

It's deciding to do what's best for others by never asking for intimacy that you're not able to match with commitment.

Intimacy without commitment contradicts what the Bible teaches about true love. Instead of being selfless, it's selfish; instead of being patient, it's impatient; instead of looking out for the ongoing good of the other person, it's focused on the needs of the moment.

We don't ask for a level of intimacy and emotional loyalty that goes beyond our true level of commitment.

The best relationships are between two people who care more about each other's good.. than their own momentary pleasure.

Where is true joy? It's found in God's brand of love -
love founded on faithfulness,
love rooted in commitment.

- I Kissed Dating Goodbye
Joshua Harris.

2009-02-05T00:20:00.002+08:00

out of frustrations & pressure MBio lab report was giving on Sat,

we decided to have a small laughing session & see what has this got to say...

Did this with the Noob's blue boyboy AND! some of the results are O.O!!

MISERY BUSINESS

1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

______________________________________________________________

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Home

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
1973

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Don Say You Love Me

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Cry on my shoulder (You can always count on me dears (: )

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Sex Is Not The End (?!???!??!?!??! LIKE WHAT THE?!?! NOO??? Why do you have this song in your ipod Noob?!)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Doorbell (mmhmm mmhmmm. Ring me up anytime :D)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Maria (HAHAHHAH! im not that bad to say thhhaaat!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
The Diary of Jane

WHAT IS 2+2?
Gimme More

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Footprints on my Heart (Totally (: )

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
1985

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
All i want for Christmas is you

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Journey

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Happy Birthday

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
All Out of Love (HOIIIIIIIIIII! HAHHA XD )

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Who will i run to?

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
So Cold (how cold can my dead body be?)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Notice Me (LOL! aint no such a bian tai can! XD)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Never Again

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Cry me a River

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Lost without you (Wowww. that's bit too exaggerating. hahah!)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Disenchanted

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
With you ( :D! )

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Hope Dies Last

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Things I’ll never say

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Everytime we touch (O.O!! HAHAHAHHAHAH! Physical touch: LAST)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
I should’ve never let you go

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
No One (Yepp! no one!)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
It ends Tonight

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Misery business (!!!!!!! AND I MUST SAY THIS. THIS IS EXACTLY THE SAME AS FIO'S!!)

________________________________________________________

This thing is just AMAZIINGGG man!

what are the chances of you getting the same song in a playlist of close to 1000 songs in the exact same question as someone else' question? okk... wait. i don understand what i just said. BUT YARRR. it just so happened that i had the exact same song for the exact same question as Fio! HOW ZHUN?? :D

&&& its amazing how some really answered the questions. BUT NOT FOR MY MOTTO PART. stupid Noober! what kind of song you have inside! LOLLLER.

But, not bad a time killer and short laughing booster! :D

2009-02-03T21:32:00.002+08:00

i think im having issues right now.

serious issues.

"iuhwbhbckajieiqwebfjfirpqiepu!"

i should just go bang the wall now,

cos for God knows what i've been on the com since 7!

get off la esther!

RAH!

i really think i have issues..

2009-02-02T02:59:00.010+08:00

Dear Heavenly Father,

Though it may seemed all impossible in our
eyes, with the piling high work load that's weighing so hard on us, Father
i pray that You'll continue to remind us that all things are possible
in You. I pray that Father, you'll take away the weariness, impatience,
hopelessness, dejection in all of my dear ones who are going through a hard
time right now. Father, help us to tide through all these stumbles and
crumbles.. Remind us time and again that we can lean on You and draw
strength from You cos' never will you leave us on our own. & i thank You
for
this...

In Jesus' Name i pray,
Amen.

Hang in there now my dears.
PPH, peeps from TK01, Yi, Lydia, Noob, & probably the whole of AS..

Keep holding on,
Cos' you know we'll make it through,
we'll make it through.

Just stay strong,
Cos' you know im here for you,
im here for you.

2009-02-01T12:36:00.003+08:00

Back in 24 Aug 2007...

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Words of Affirmation
with a secondary love language being
Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Words of Affirmation:		9
Quality Time:		8
Acts of Service:		6
Physical Touch:		4
Receiving Gifts:		3

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

And now in 2009...

I feel loved when...

The Five Love Languages

My Primary Love Language is Words of Affirmation

My Detailed Results:
Words of Affirmation:	8
Acts of Service:	7
Quality Time:	7
Receiving Gifts:	6
Physical Touch:	2

About this quiz

Unhappiness in relationships is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. It can be helpful to know what language you speak and what language those around you speak.

Take the Quiz!
Check out the Book

it's still the same. hahahah! :D

2009-02-01T00:10:00.002+08:00

i don't know what's with this sudden pek cekness but..

URGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

2009-01-30T01:32:00.004+08:00

Eyes are closing on me soon.

My heart and soul's totally not anywhere near here.

I finally finished CD II Assignment but it feels unfinished still..

The brain was so blank just now that i started panicking as i saw the time tick away..

sch's makin me loving to hate it.

tmrw's gon be a looong day, fr 9AM - 11PM..

catch me if i fall..

I just want to snuggle into bed right now, hug Nick to sleep & call it a day.

Gotta wake Neh up at 7:30AM tmrw cos in her words, "i scared i snooze until nv wake up". ok, let's hope i can wake up meeself cos snoozing is kinda like my forte tooo (1hr!).. & i think she forgets that. LOL.

ok, let's pray hard now tt i can wake up toooooo!

>.<

the heart is deceitful?

2009-01-29T13:03:00.003+08:00

One in this world for everyone
One heart
One soul, to walk beside you
One in this life, to share your love
One touch,
To touch the heart inside you

2009-01-27T23:34:00.004+08:00

my wonder fingers just repaired,

& got out the stucked earring which had been inside the printer for days!

WOOHOOO!

now i can brag bout it to mee mum & prove t her tt i really did what she asked me to,

in her words, "better solve that YOURSELF!"

pls pat my shoulder,

& say "good job, ther!" HAHAHA :D

& hoi!

my turtle earring surprisely is still in good shape after all that crushing & squashing!

a zoom zoom update!

yet another CNY (:

hope all of you guys' had fun visiting,

& for the majority, enjoying this in-time and precious break!

snapshots up once im done w the edits!

(note: don dare to put up SOON. cos im afraid it won be that SOON. HAHA.)

i can't believe i got the chance to REALLY sleep in today!

BEAMS PLS!

hahahha.

mum & i was so guilty aft all the gorging of food right smack on the 1st day of CNY alr!

curry and curry & MORE curry!

so guilty that we set off for a good run that night.

AND, tonight.

its major satisfaction laaaaa :DD

minus all tht post-run cramps i always get right after.

pain like sai BUT worth it.

i secretly love that feeling you get after a good run.

heehee :j

ok, my whole body's aching from all that running.

DAMN NUAAA NOW.

& ok, don smack me in the head.

i've actually been squeezing studying times in betw CNY.

like ok ok ok.

NO LIFE I KNOW.

buttttt ):

you should really my scheduler...

i don't even wanna take another look at it...

sigh.

so many ppl to catch up with,

so many things on hand,

so many stuffs to cope,

so much to rush out thru,

so many places i want to go,

so many things i'd rather do,

...but so little time.

big sigh.

can i slash "little" away and slot in " much"?

i want more time, Lord.

ok,

stay strong now, ALL OF YOU!

together, we'll not fall!

"united we stand,

divided, we fall!"

HAHHAHAHA

i wanna watch:

MARLEY & ME

BRIDE WARS!

time again!

oh ya!

CALLING FOR HELP!

anybody know how to put up Haloscan on the blog?

like with the "Leave a comment" link after every post?

i feel like taking away cbox.

LOL.

anyoneeeee? (:

i feel like drinking Wang's Cafe's coffeeee!

random cravings again.

I've been searching for

A heart that needs a heart like mine

I've been reaching for

A hand that understands

I've been waiting for

Someone that I can love that loves me

Loves me for the one that I am

Someone to hold me when I'm lonely

Someone to keep the rain away

One in this world for everyone

One heart

One soul to walk beside you

One in this life to share your love

One touch

To touch the heart inside you

Wanna reach for each night

Wanna trust with your life

Thats what I believe

You're the one

You're the one in this world for me

I've been praying that

Someone like you would rescue me

I've been hoping that

I'd find my way to you

I've been dreaming that

Somehow I'd finally find somebody

Somebody to make my dreams come true

Someone to hold me when I'm lonely

Someone to give my whole world to

One in this world for everyone

One heart

One soul to walk beside you

One in this life to share your love

One touch

To touch the heart inside you

Wanna reach for each night

Wanna trust with your life

Thats what I believe

You're the one

You're the one in this world for me

Someone to hold me when I'm lonely

Someone to tell my secrets to

Someone who's living for me only

Someone to give my whole world to

They say they say

They say they say..

♥

2009-01-26T01:43:00.003+08:00

CNY's tmrw!!

& it'll be the start of the weight-gaining program!

like AHHHHH!

today's reunion lunch and dinner was alr doing their thang la!

home-cooked food are still the love man!

all my fav dishes are out today! :D

soup, nai nai cooked steamed fish, curry, braised pork, nua nua cabbage +++

mmmm~

i really hope the days after CNY won't come so fast..

Haircut at Aunty Fiona's last wed.

it's an in-house hairdressing salon.

she's one of those hairdressers who'll make you feel like you're safe hands.

& i need that. LOL!

we made an appt at 4:30PM but guess what?

we only get our hair cut at 7PM.

O.O

we were sooo ultra bored that me & fio did quite alot of stupid things.

like really stuuupiidd!

it was smackin funnayee man!

ok i shall wait for Neh to send me the viddd :D

pardon all the kuku photos.

we were so bored we decided to play a one-pin each time hair deco game.

HAHAHHA.

wooo! its 3:42AM!

& im still doing personality quizzes!

LOL!

2009-01-22T08:02:00.001+08:00

2009-01-21T22:45:00.003+08:00

thank God i made it home...

mr headache has been knocking on the door alot lately but today's was one of those that i couldn't handle. & worst thing was, im outside.

i practically dragged myself back from Toa Payoh to Tamp. and i could feel the nauseous feeling stirring up when i left. sorry jo, that you saw me in that state & got you worrying. but the head was throbbing mad and when i knew i was gonna throw up anytime, i was trying my best to suppress it til i get off the train station at Buangkok. thanks jo, again for waiting w me til my bus came. but, the nauseous feeling came back the moment i boarded the bus. and man, i was so afraid i will throw up halfway through that i was praying hard that the feeling'll go away and i forced myself to sleep...

i don't know. i was feeling another thing. all of a sudden, i just felt really alone and really "on my own" and all i could depend on was that faith to keep me strong and get me home and, myself..

i hate it when things like this happen.

i hate feeling so, vulnerable.

but really, thank you so much Lord. that you did keep me strong and get me home safe..

sigh.

& i've yet to eat anything since 11am...

first & probably the last.

expectance.

2009-01-21T14:18:00.002+08:00

i've got like a bump of many little water bubbles on my lips now.

& it's painful and itchy all at the same time! ))):

URGGGLLLYYYY!

2009-01-21T02:01:00.003+08:00

everyday seems to be all about trying hard to keep those eyes wide open, and getting my body functioning properly.

i wonder how long more can i take this accumulating fatigue..

it's either the body's gonna fail me someday soon or i'm taking out the white flag.

oh mannnn, keep going girl.

keep going..

it's playing on repeat.

I'm falling into memories of you, and things we used to do.

Follow me there

A beautiful somewhere

A place that I can share with you

oh ya. My sis & i just spent like $100+ on online clothings over this week. First time ever & not exactly the shiokest feeling, of knowing that your money just flew away with a click of those buttons

but! can't wait for the clothes to arrive! :D

No hassle, no crowds.

Just sit back and wait for the parcels to come knocking at the door.

Perfect or what! :D

& thanks Noooooob budd!

your handicraft's making it difficult for me to not suspect if you're secretly a girl deep within. HAHHAHAHHAHAH.

omgg runn! :D

but thumbs up!

alright, i need to get out my butt outta here.

the eyes are so dropping out soon!

o.o

last one before i go.

thought i'd share this.

i was even shorter once upon a time.

& i wore HIGH WAIST SKIRT!

hahahahhahahah!

koodles now earthlings!

2009-01-20T00:46:00.002+08:00

why does it always have to be like this?

2009-01-19T00:40:00.003+08:00

seeing the com hang on you is one of the last things that you wish to happen when doing your research.

LIKE URGGGGG. breathe in breathe out!

my patience was really tested just looking at the mouse pointer taking forever to move from one place to another, waiting for the sun to come out while the window slowly pops out and says hi & just see myself stoning away and breathing hard to keep myself cool.

ok, AhDis assignment down & that's only one! i've still got another one which i have no kuku idea how to even start! o.o

did anybody realised that half of january's already gone?

my gosh.

work in school is ever still piling & showing us no mercy at all. & really, im not kiddin. i foresee the lack of breathing space! & it's so not gonna help when im alr like half dead from all that lack of sleep ):

oh ya! i was really determined to go run todayyy but due to alot of "circumstances", me & my mum said we'll go run tmrw morning at 7AM. note! 7AM. & very amusingly, the moment we said that, my sis & my dad burst out laughing! & in case you don't know, my mum don't usually get her butt out of bed so early in the morning if there's no special reason (& i don think getting up early TO RUN sounds anything near motivating :D), & for me, im already sleep-deprived lately, and apparently, my dad and sis kinda think alr that this wake-up-at-7AM thing to go run is gonna fail, like horribly. LIKE HOIIIII!

but i guess, its really called off. cos im kinda like still rushing out stupid assignments at what? 3AM? & to get up at 6+AM later to prepare to run? WOW. i must be nuts! & my mum kinda said, " den ming tian bu yong pao le" when she saw me still up... RAHHHH! there's goes my exercise plan! ):

my brain's starting to fail me now...

when was the last time i had a proper good hibernation? I WANT ONE NOW! ):

& i feel like going back to the Malay stalls at St21 and eat the Indian Rojak and Kway Teow Goreng again. MMMMMMMM >.< &&! DIM SUMMMMMM o.o goshhh!

ok snap it out! imma go dreamypoo land now!

nights earthlings!

what's real is what i can't see.

2009-01-18T18:19:00.002+08:00

..syncing with current mood:

this song totally lifts the entire mood up!

listen to it!

i hope it lifts you guys' too!

2009-01-14T21:06:00.001+08:00

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Losing Someone You love affection and the people in your life more than anything. Your greatest fear is that one day someone you care about won't be there anymore. You are a very friendly and inviting person, who draws in a lot of friendships with your kind, considerate, and loyal nature. However, deep down you are slightly insecure and unsure of yourself. You couldn't deal with it if you didn't have one of your loved ones in your life anymore. You don't have too much to worry about though, because with a friend like you, no one will want to lose you either!
Being Alone
Disappointment
Looked down on
Where Your life is Going
Death
Commitment
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

2009-01-13T02:25:00.004+08:00

marks another year added to our friendship.

i've always thought that birthday celebrations ain't just about going through all the trouble planning, & about blowing balloons and candles,

but rather,

a precious time for loved ones to come together and show love in a special way..

happy 20th, dear roley!

hope you felt the love that night :D

& neh, jo, den!

going through all the woooha planning & high together was thumbs up! :D

loved every min of it!

Here I stand, thirsting for You

Here I am, surrender to You

Let my life be Your clay

Mould me in Your way

Here I stand, desperate for You

Here I am, a vessel for You

Let me life sing Your praise

Bring honour to Your name

oh!

did i mention that i tried to be funny yesterday and ironed my shorts while still wearing it and got myself an ugly burnt scar on the leg now?

you're fantastic esther.

scarred for life,

can't help but still have that fear.

Take over Father,

take all of me.

Scars make us stonger for life.

2009-01-10T10:14:00.002+08:00

And these are the moments,

I thank God that I'm alive.

And these are the moments,

I'll remember all my life.

I've found all I've waited for,

And I could not ask for more.

And these are the moments,

I know heaven must exist.

And these are the moments,

I know all I need is this,

I have all I've waited for,

And I could not ask for more.

2009-01-06T18:57:00.002+08:00

God knows what is this sudden moodswing...

i hate you, esther.

a weakling, you still are.

2009-01-05T00:01:00.003+08:00

THEME DRESS UP I

BACK TO SCHOOL.

PPH! let's wear uniforms again somedayyyy!

pardon the damn short skirt. looks major lian. RAHHH!

its not even a sch skirt in the first place.

cos' roley only have one pathetic skirt left.

LOL!

pls look at roley's face!! XDDDD.

til next time;

with full attendence ok sweets! (:

2009-01-05T00:00:00.000+08:00

Countdown to 2009!

BOL!

de Fireworks!

spectacular yo!

breakfast booster was just the best to end a long day before going home to sleep like a dead zombie.

breakfast is the way man.

aye aye ayee~

Now, i'm gon' list out my NYR slowly over the days.

hmmmm..

a great happy new year to all you guys again!

2009-01-04T00:39:00.001+08:00

the head's spinning & i feel nauseous again for the millionth time today!

what is wrong with me pls?!

2009-01-03T19:58:00.010+08:00

deviantart.com

it's only the 3rd day of the new year,

& i can already see all the windy roads far ahead from where im standing right now..

2 re-tests for the mid-sem papers are alr scheduled,

& it's gonna be another big wooha all over again.

Daddy, i can't do this on my own..

help me,

to see it not as a failure,

but as a second chance..

forgive me,

for being complacent..

for allowing complacency to fill the heart..

But He said..

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness"

2 Cor 12:9

& you said..

Cast all your anxiety on me because i care for you.

1 Peter 5:7

& for that,

i know i can always count on you..

im leaning on you..

am not in the bestest mood now, but maybe it's cos of the fatigue.

'vebeen super seh the entire day. getting my butt all the way to Bkt Timah early in the day for cell when the body's not really fully awake yet, with the ear piece being all pms-y & decided that it's gonna disown me once & for all (rah!!), the dry & tired eyes shouting out for rest, & having like three-quarter of the day with my brain filled with the thoughts retest retest restest..

ok shuts.

come on now, you can do it girl (:

He's with you..

sidetrack,

i used to think that this day will never come.. but now, coming to think of it, i was really a tad bit too dumb. what i can't figure out in the past feels like it's falling into place slowly over time. i din understand why things turned out that way it turned out to be & although getting through that rough patch was one of the worst ever, but i am glad & thank God i made it through. & it's getting so much clearer now. some things are just ain't yours cos,' its just not sup to be in the very first place..

random thoughts;

1. God knows best. & He always does.

2. finally, delete delete delete! :D

3. i hope there's nothing wrong w Nick. he's been scratching really badly lately ):

4. Heart, don't fail me now. Courage, don't desert me.

5. Above all else, guard the heart. this can be my life quote now. lol!

6. i'm missing all my girls ): so much to do, yet so little time..

7. thank you for you.

8. time to get those books out. Motivation, fill me!

9. & stop looking! ARG!

this has been on replay since 7!

click play!

pweaaaaseeeeeeeee :D

2009-01-02T00:02:00.003+08:00

A BLAST;

2009's here!

the best countdown i've had so far.

with zero squeezing,

zero lack of oxygen (due to horrible crowds),

beautiful view of the fireworks at the 44th level,

& w great company!

it's been long since i've got into a serious major laughing fit.

the jaws were achy from all that laughing that my face went all numb.

& thank you kuku-est buddehh & all your darlings :D

more picturoooos still in the making!

no. 1 to go on the NYR list:

1. make myself motivated to go to sch so that going sch's a happy thing!

2009's finally here!!!

im bursting with happy sparks with zero idea where all the sudden sparks are coming from but, i think it's post-celebration syndrome & im so high right now, i can fly to the mooon! ok that's sounds so errrrr... HAHAHAHA.

whateverrr :D

i smelllllll burning sparks (:

the heart's beaming;

2008-12-30T00:40:00.002+08:00

my friends can really say the kuku-est & sweetest thangs!

& never fail to draw that big smile on my face (:

m O n D :: aSMILE!(: brings love around! ` says:
RAHHHHHHHHH !

m O n D :: aSMILE!(: brings love around! ` says:
*STOMPPSSS FEEEEET SUPER HARDD

m O n D :: aSMILE!(: brings love around! ` says:
*UNTIL NOW FLOOOR GOT ONE BIG DENT !

m O n D :: aSMILE!(: brings love around! ` says:
* STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP

m O n D :: aSMILE!(: brings love around! ` says:
*PUNCH AIR PUNCH AIR PUNCH AIRRR !

m O n D :: aSMILE!(: brings love around! ` says:
hahahahahahaha !

(that's one kuku. )

*

iiii says:
ther!!

yiiii says:
hannah need lab coat tmr ah??

yiiii says:
okok!

yiiii says:
tmr i bringgg

yiiii says:
den can cheng ji see my lover!!!

yiiii says:
WAHAHHHA

ther. "His brand of love" says:
OMGGG :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:

(& that's one sugar rush!)

: D

2008-12-29T01:15:00.005+08:00

the moment of frustration was really hard to bear a while ago.

but when i saw this at FB,

i couldn't help laughing!

if you can't see, it says:

Esther Tay is being blackmailed by ogawa right now cos she din log out of her facebook at ogawa's house!

like O.O!! OGAWAAAA!

& this too!

HAHAHHAHAH!

how dare you, you this ogawaaa!

tmrw you're sooo dead!

though plan for a theme gathering failed cos no full attendence!

but i must say,

I HAD SO MUCH FUN JUST MAC-WHORING WITH MY DARLINGS!

like serious milo man!

there's more than 400+++ photos taken. and there's only 3-4 of us!

WHO'S TEH PRO.

*proud loooook!*

uniforms are still the love la!

more coming up!

ok, now i can "happily" go back to sch.

these 2 weeks of hols may be short (pathetically niao!)

but i must say,

i thank God for all the lovelies,

cos' every day was well-spent (:

& love you girls! for today! :D

AYE NERD.

charlie & kitty's waiting for your pics pls!

2008-12-28T14:51:00.004+08:00

LIKE OMG!

I'VE GOT A virtual TEALLLL IPOD!

HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

XD!

2008-12-27T01:22:00.002+08:00

this poem had been ringing in the head for quite some time..

& it is still so well-said & written.

just thought i'd share it again.

❤

Man Enough to Answer

I want to close this chapter with a challenge to young men. ..the following poem by Lena Lathrop, entitled "A Woman's Question," speaks particularly to men. It chills me every time I read it. Lathrop's words show me to be the immature boy that I am, stopping me in my tracks and daring me to be a man enough to treat a woman right. Some of the poem's wording might seem old-fashioned, but the message is timeless.

Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing
Ever made by the Hand above—
A woman's heart, and a woman's life
And a woman's wonderful love?

Do you know you have asked for this priceless thing
As a child might ask for a toy,
Demanding what others have died to win,
With the reckless dash of a boy?

You have written my lesson of duty out,
Man-like, you have questioned me;
Now stand at the bar of my woman's soul
Until I shall question thee.

You require your mutton shall always be hot,
Your socks and your shirt be whole;
I require your heart to be true as God's stars,
And as pure as heaven your soul.

You require a cook for your mutton and beef;
I require a far better thing.
A seamstress you're wanting for socks and shirts;
I look for a man and a king.

A king for the beautiful realm called Home,
And a man that the Maker, God,
Shall look upon as He did the first
And say, "It is very good."

I am fair and young, but the rose will fade
From my soft, young cheek one day,
Will you love me then 'mid the falling leaves,
As you did 'mid the bloom of May?

Is your heart an ocean so strong and deep,
I may launch my all on its tide?
A loving woman finds heaven or hell
On the day she is made a bride.

I require all things that are grand and true,
All things that a man should be;
If you give all this, I would stake my life
To be all you demand of me.

If you cannot do this — a laundress and cook
You can hire, with little to pay,
But a woman's heart and a woman's life
Are not to be won that way.

To girls reading this book, I pray this poem serves as a reminder to keep your standards high. Require all things that are "grand and true". ..don't lower your standards for a moment, any guy who asks you to do so isn't worth your time.

And to the guys, we have our work cut out for us, don't we? My hope for us is that we would truly grasp the costliness, the pricelessness, of a woman's love. It is no small thing, no game, to invite a girl to accompany us through life. May we earn the right to make such a request by striving to be men of integrity-men whose hearts are oceans "strong and true." Then, and only then, should we stand at the bars of a woman's soul and ask to gain entrance.

❤

how true,

how strong,

how sincere?

how many of the pairs out there are really giving the purest of their hearts?

as i look around each day, i can't help but feel... what's that word.

Light up, light up.

As if you have a choice,

Even if you cannot hear my voice,

I'll be right beside you dear.

❤

independence's been here so long that,

i think i've forgotten how to be dependent;

2008-12-26T02:04:00.005+08:00

this looks super kuku!

yes, go ahead & laugh!

carolling's a blast!

loving every moment of it with all the darlings that make all of it possible (:

& lydia!

this is for you!

thanks for all the hard effort in putting this whole carolling together & making it a bomb! (:

snapshots up soon!

christmas' makes it all better (:

shocked & disappointed all at the same time,

how can anyone take on such a drastic change,

& now, you just makes it even easier...

it's finally goodbye now;

2008-12-25T02:20:00.007+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS DARLINGS! : D

hope all you lovelies having a bombastic one now (:

it's cold outside,
& there's nothing much to say;

2008-12-23T02:45:00.000+08:00

Christmas is nearing, in less than 3 days! & i've really got a handful of things to get done before it! i need 48 hours per dayyy!

i wanna get Christmas lightings to lit up my whole room : D i don't care if it's another year without a christmas tree, yet again. but, i think i won't be able to get them alr ): sigh.

♥

As 2008 is reaching the end line, so fast, too fast in fact, it's always a good time now to take a peek again on what have been made past & history,

no matter how bumpy the road was before, how some things are going to be kept away as memories and remembered for life, how difficult it was going through all that hurt, how despaired & helpless it got when there seemed to be no wayy, how stuck we were when we found ourselves on a split road juncture, knowing deep inside that every decisions & choices that we'll be making are gon' change everything ...

people come & go,

earthly promises are sealed & yet, broken,

a human heart's deceitful;

everyone knows that nothing in this earth is certain,

uncertain the things that this world may promise,

but despite all,

there's a love so unchanging,

firm,

& unshaking,

that i can always depend on & draw strength from..

this love that lasts,

& you can be certain that,

it's never going to sway for even a second.

so strong,

is this love from the big God above,

that even if i fall,

i know i'm always safe in this crazy world..

so come on now 2009,

i'm all prepared for all your twist & turns.

♥

You have been good to me
You have been good to me
You have been gracious
You have been faithful
Meeting my needs
Lord, it's so plain to see
You have been good to me
I have been given so much I can't even
Begin to thank You

And still I believe there is more
I believe there is more
I believe
So I open my hands to receive
All that Your love has in store
Lord, I believe

Everything I have done
All that I've said and sung
Lifting Your story giving You glory
That's just the beginning
Father, I know there is more
Power to heal and restore
Miracles wonders blessings unnumbered
Love never-ending

Exceeding abundantly
More than our minds can imagine
Love overflowing
You are bestowing
Day after day, after day..

i believe there's more;

2008-12-22T23:55:00.000+08:00

FRIDAY;

trying to draw on the shoes and later poke paint on it are seriously not some easy thang to do! staring at the same spot & not moving an inch of your body for minutes can really test your patience la!

the eyes are so dry now & the back is even more achy after all the hoohaa! from today's work -.-

ok, all i can hope now that me & ediot can do a great job on the REAL thang tmrw. i used my own shoes for experiments. & apparently, i quite like the outcome :D Much of the credit must really go to teh Noob man! for drawing his beautiful art (which is not bad at all! like o.o!) AND, not minding to touch and draw on a pair of worn-before shoes! don't worry, your hands won't ROT! XD. i owe you like super big time pls!

THANKS NOOOOOOBERR! :D

the 'beautiful' pencil-drawn art by teh Noober!

& of course, you need a good painter too (like helloo?? XD)

not that nice but not THAT bad tooooo! :D

♥

these are what that have been keeping me & ediot busyyyy man.

let's hope everything is worth the hard work (:

not yet the finish work.

so how's it?

personally, not really my kind of style.

HAHAHHAHA!

♥

Colourgenics;

Just wanna take a look at what it have to say.

Your mind is never at rest. (O.O) You are continually striving to influence all those about you. You have some excellent ideas but you persist in trying to persuade others just how great your ideas really are. Maybe you are trying too hard. Take it easy - remember, 'Everything comes to those who wait'.
You need an atmosphere of peace and quiet and you would like to share a bond of understanding with the 'right person' - you have the belief that with the right person, your stress and anxiety could be minimised.
There are times of everyone's life when 'compromise' is the name of the game and this is the time, so you have no alternative but to forgo some pleasures for the time being. You are capable of achieving satisfaction through physical activity (i want to swim!).
Your ability to withstand the pressures of everyday life have been overtaxed and this is leading to stress and frustrations. It would seem that for the time being you have lost the resilience and strength of will necessary to contend with existing difficulties. You feel that it is all 'too much' and, try as you may, you are getting nowhere. But to give you credit, you continue to stand your ground and pursue your objectives with a fierce intensity. Naturally this situation is subjecting you to intolerable stress and pressure from which you would dearly like to escape, but you can not bring yourself to make the necessary decision. As a result you remain firmly involved in the problem and you can neither view it objectively nor get rid of it - you cannot leave it alone and you feel that you will only be at peace when you have reached your objective.
Being afraid that you may be prevented from achieving your hopes and dreams is making you anxious and nervous. As a dreamer your ideas can at times move into the realm of fantasy and you could be following that so called illusive dream.

quite a hit-on-the-spot man.

o.o

♥

web cammmingg is teh best laughingg booosterrr man!

HAHAHHAHA.

3 MORE DAYS TO CHRISTMAS!

2008-12-19T00:15:00.002+08:00

aching arms & backs.

those boxes are heavier than you can imagine!

but am loving the togetherness,

mum,

aunts,

cousin,

sis.

together as one.

look at those mountains of books!!!

this time i need a full body massage...

2008-12-18T23:29:00.002+08:00

say hi to my noobiest friend who, as far as i know, says the most retarded & most dramammaa thing ever.

laughing spasm!!!

XDD

he says things like:

m O n D :: aSMILE!(: brings love around!
*PIANG PIANG ! ponggg HANDS UP OKAY!

____________________________________

ther. "knowing what's best." says:
my msn damnn prettayyee now!

ther. "knowing what's best." says:
i showww youuuU!

ther. "knowing what's best." says:
WHR YOU!?!?!??!?!?

m O n D :: aSMILE!(: brings love around! ` says:
HEREE

m O n D :: aSMILE!(: brings love around! ` says:
like HEREEEE !

m O n D :: aSMILE!(: brings love around! ` says:
waiting for YOUUUU !

m O n D :: aSMILE!(: brings love around! ` says:
IM WAITING FOR YOUU ~

m O n D :: aSMILE!(: brings love around! ` says:
just waiting for youuu !

m O n D :: aSMILE!(: brings love around! ` says:
HAHAHAHAH !

m O n D :: aSMILE!(: brings love around! ` says:
omgomgomg

m O n D :: aSMILE!(: brings love around! ` says:
IMMMMM LAMEEEEE !

__________________________________________

m O n D :: aSMILE!(: brings love around! ` says:
orhhhs tonight short short consultation regarding the topic "how to repair tuituitui rays! "

m O n D :: aSMILE!(: brings love around! ` says:
ATTENDENCE WILL BE TAKEN

m O n D :: aSMILE!(: brings love around! ` says:
FAILURE TO ATTEND WILL RESULT IN NOSE GETTING POKED.

m O n D :: aSMILE!(: brings love around! ` says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA

omgg someone pls say he's retarded & a total himbo!

like finally, someone can take my place!

HAHAHHAHHAH!

2008-12-17T13:11:00.002+08:00

haha! I SAVED AN ANT JUST NOW :DDD

-.-

ok, don't give me that lame face!

its a since young thang y'know.

i was cooking and preparing food for Nick just now.

& when i was cutting the cauliflowers & carrots,

i saw this poor ant all by itself stuck in the puddle of water on the chopping board.

couldn't just let myself see it die,

soooooooooo, HAHA!

i let it crawled onto my finger

& brought it somewhr safe!

BEAMMMMMMS (:

stupid Veet burned my kneees, now there's like red spots all overrr

& they're burninggggg!

yehh, huo gai ):

2008-12-17T00:45:00.002+08:00

As little children we would dream of Christmas morn

Of all the gifts and toys we knew we’d find

But we never realized a baby born one blessed night

Gave us the greatest gift of our lives

We were the reason that He gave His life

We were the reason that He suffered and died

To a world that was lost He gave all He could give

To show us the reason to live

As the years went by we learned more about gifts

The giving of ourselves and what that means

On a dark and cloudy day a man hung crying in the rain

All because of love

I finally found the reason for living

It’s in giving every part of my heart to Him (every part to Him)

And all that I do every word that I say (you know I’ll be saying)

I’ll be giving my all just for Him (every thing for Him)

We are the reason that He gave His life

We are the reason that He suffered and died

To a world that was lost He gave all He could give

(all that he could give all)

To show us the reason to live

He is the reason to live

(don’t you know do you know the reason

that he came, oh he came to save us

when he gave his life for us)

He suffered and died

To a world that was lost He gave everything (everything that He had He gave)

To show us the reason to live

"He is my reason to live."

all said.

2008-12-15T19:06:00.003+08:00

in camp now,

& am not supposed to be here.

couldn't really get to sleep last night..

major GG.

i'm awfully dead tired..

& i got a bruise on my nose bridge.

thanks for the nice punch gab.

-.-

i want a full leg massage now!

2008-12-13T09:30:00.006+08:00

throw your hands up & dance!!

FLICK (hannnahhh! laugh!) the kuku mr term tests off HARD & stop robbing me of my beauty sleeppp!

i can feel the air around clearing up!

BREATHHEEE IN.

now, i want to do lotsa things before this stingy 2 weeks are gone before i know it!

ok, don't complain miss.

& you guys tooo. LOL!

2 weeks are better than nothing! (:

and all we can think of straight after exams is EAAATTTT!

i was so afraid that the stomach is gonna kick off a hard rock concert during the paper la!

HAHA.

it was rumbling and tumbling like madness & i could feel the gastrics kicking in.

but too late,

when we reached Yoshi,

i was alr tooo hungryy that i felt like throwing up.

AND, in the end,

i can't finish my food!

like what?!??!

& PPH's convo is still always the best!

not only can it always unknowingly turn up its volume to full blast. (HAHAHAH!)

like really, always! & it can become so all over the place, it'll never fail to get me all messed up bout what they're really talking bout. it can also always manage to divert and drift far off from one pure topic to don't know what other ??!?!??! topics! giiirrllllls?? LOL!!

& yesterday's was EWWWWW.

i don't even wanna say! EW EW EWEW.

the whole Yoshi was probably thundering with our laughters.

loving it!

& loving you sweetlings! :D

"ayy! take picture take picture!"

HAHAHHA (:

♥

& 3D Bolt with Nehneh was laughing madness!

& my most expensive movie ticket ever was given to TAN JI HUI! HAHAHAHA.

its a big fat 13 bucks!

O.O

first, & maybe not the last.

: D

the specs are so coolllioooos pls! :D

good thing about 3D.

no one will ever catch you crying.

*hehhhehhhehhehh!*

I WANT BOLT PLUSHIEEEE :DD

love from these furry animals are nothing but genuine.

♥

(i was counting on forever, now i'll never know)

2008-12-11T06:37:00.003+08:00

running in and out of the toilet every few minutes in the wee hours of the morning is not very funny.

stomach is hurting like shitzxzxzxzxzxzxz!!

& i think im probably the only one who still blogs in the midst of term tests la.

ha ha.

overdosage;

2008-12-09T17:47:00.002+08:00

the body's crying out,

those lifeless eyes are blanking out,

& the soul's slipping away.

& today's only the first day of a very much brain-taxing week..

hold on, girl.

hold on.

keep holding on too, my loves.

2008-12-08T21:40:00.007+08:00

♥
Say you're sorry
That face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on
The days drag on
Stupid girl,
I should have known, I should have known.

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell.
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around.

Baby I was naive,
Got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance.My mistake, i didn't know to be in love, you had to fight to have the upper hand.I had so many dreams
About you and me
Happy endings
Now I know

And there you are on your knees,
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry.

Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now
And its too late for you and your white horse
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now.

Try and catch me now.
Oh, it's too late
To catch me now.

♥

concentrate concentrate concentrate!my mind's all over the place!
all my darlings! don't let the mountain of notes kill us tonight! rip it up,& tear them into pieces! LOLLLL.
Molecular Bio & Animal Health Disease for tmrw. why they've got to put these two together! roll eyes.
ok gotta chiong now!

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale.

2008-12-08T03:39:00.004+08:00

finally im done with AHDISSS.

screw it screw it screwwwww it! (LOL!)

the cows' diseases are like endless man!

STUPID COW DISEASEES!

hahhahahhahahahha!

i still love the schh when it's at nighht : D

& good thing is, they have coffeeeee 24/7!!

YESSAARRR :D

term tests faster overrr ahhhhhhh! ):

i don't know what got into me during church service today.

but suddenly, images of all the lovely people just keep on flashing in my mind.

bits of memories of the love & sweetness they've shown on me..

how i suddenly felt this gush of warmness in the heart..

the overwhelming thankfulness..

that i asked silently, "Lord, do i deserve all of them?"

when papa walked past me,

& give me those darling daddy touch on the chin like how he'll do it when im 5 or 6..

it somehow just triggered the tears..

it's overflowing love, that i felt.

Thank you, Lord.

2008-12-06T11:12:00.003+08:00

ok, being super random here! :D

listening to 1,2,3,4 is happy.

playing it on the guitar is even more happier!

hannahhhhhh! you can play it tooo! i've put up the chords :D & everyone else who knows how to play :D go make yourself happy & shoo all those pesty exam stress away! best is, go play to others & make them happy!

(1,2,3,4 Guitar Tabs!)

woahh, music therapy is gooood! :D

*dances aroundddd*

HAHAHAHHAHA.

Give me more loving than I’ve ever had
Make me feel better when I’m feeling sad
Tell me I’m special even though I know I’m not

"Above all else, guard your heart."

2008-12-06T00:11:00.003+08:00

just came back from work. yes, ON A FRIDAY NIGHT.

& it seems like everyone else other than us are enjoying their holidays alr! ):

im dead tired that i was practically walking with a half-asleep body just now.

the eyes are so friggin dry, it's feels like its gonna drop off anytime!

gosh, im drained.

and when i reached tamp, i managed to meet up with louis and gang! omggg. its been soooo long since i've seen them! and kaiwu's going in NS next week! O.O and before we know it, they are gonna go in one after another soon. like O.O!! time is showing no mercy...

suddenly, i miss those times in sec sch... ):

im quite zonked out now, & i don't know why, but there's this heavy feeling inside.

sigh, whatever.

this week came and go just like that.

it's scary how fast time is flying past...

& it's even more scarier that im hardly keeping up with it...

can time just stop for now?

imma go sleep now. guess i'll wake up at 5 or sth to study. URG. exams pls stop robbing me of my sleep. it's a love hate thang. ok wait, it's not even love in the first place. RAHHHHHHH.

2008-12-05T00:09:00.002+08:00

one gazillion things in the mind;

perfectly imperfect.

2008-12-03T22:46:00.005+08:00

hooked hooked hooked!

this is like the cutest song ever!

&! it makes me happy! : D

to all my dear ones,

fiona, carole, hannah, den, yi, charlene, cass, lydia, nick (which probably won't hear. hahahah.),

HIT THE PLAY BUTTON! :D

wanted to take down the playlist, but some peabrain says no! hahahahah!

let it playyyyyy (:

"Give me more lovin then i've ever had.
Make it all better when i'm feelin sad.
Tell me that i'm special even when i know i'm not.
Make me feel good when i hurt so bad.
Barely gettin mad,
I'm so glad i found you.
I love bein around you.

You make it easy,
as easy as 1 2,(1 2 3 4.)

There's only one thing two do three words four you.
i love you.
(i love you)

There's only one way two say those three words
and that's what i'll do.
i love you.
(i love you)

Give me more lovin from the very start.
Piece me back together when i fall apart.
Tell me things you never even tell your closest friends.
Make me feel good when i hurt so bad.
Best that i've had.
I'm so glad that i found you.
I love bein' around you.

You make it easy as easy as 1 2,(1 2 3 4.)"

heh! it's gonna repeat for another hourrrr.

one way two say three words four you. (:

2008-12-03T22:17:00.003+08:00

suddenly, there's a stockup of medications in the house.

the voice's totally sexy now.

you don't want to even hear it.

i don't know if its the flu/cough/sore throat that's rapidly killing my appetite.

but, i is want my appetite back ):

FOOD'S MY LIFEEEE.

can't really rest fully either.

term test's ONLY next week.

& i can't really afford to rest...

i can only just hope & pray that the body won't fail me any further.

(i was afraid that i'll come down with a fever today that i asked Em to pray for me. heh..)

keep those fingers crossed.

im clinging onto faith.

2008-12-02T02:23:00.002+08:00

ESTHERITIS.

clinical signs:

sore throat,

chronic cough,

sudden onset of dripping mucous,

nauseous,

bad appetite.

prognosis:

bad.

if cough continues, one may lose her voice really soon.

- - - - - - - - -

of all weeks, my body chose this week (STUDY WEEK) to break down.

nice one.

no way you're gonna bring me down!

buck up buck up buck up!

will you judge?

2008-12-01T01:22:00.006+08:00

finally;

it's been 10,00000 kuku years since i wore a dress.

& so qiaooo. my aunt who you'll take ancient years if you want to see her in a dress, wore one too! take pic take pic! :DDD

ahhhh! my hair's so golden!!

(scrunched up face!)

coughcoughcoughcoughcoughcoughcoughcoughcough

coughcoughcoughcoughcoughcoughcough!

urgg!

my gooshhhh.

alright!

g'nights sweets! (:

mugging time starts tmrw! ):

2008-11-30T03:35:00.002+08:00

finally! im done with eeeeediiooott's present!

super tediousss PLEASE.

& what the pong!

LOOK AT THE TIME.

-.-zzz

oh wells (:

Anything for you, darling!

hope you love it, EEDDIOTT! :D

waking up at 6+ later. O.O goodness gracious!

& I WANNA GO IT FAIRRRR TMRWWW!

LOVER! WE GO TOGETHER OKAYYY??

YES SET.

im so gonna get my itchy fat hands on those T700! : D

ok ok, i've gotta jump off to bed.

my poor boy's waiting.

koodles!

2008-11-29T00:33:00.004+08:00

thank God that i made it through this week, in 1 piece.

thank God that He gave sufficient strength and endurance.

thank God that He placed lovely people around to tide me through.

thank God that He didn't make me feel alone throughout this whole mess.

thank God for keeping me strong whenever it feels like the whole world's crumbling.

thank God for knowing me best.

thank God that i can breathe again.

thank God that i can dream again.

And just to fill you guys in on Thanksgiving.... I ate TURKEYYYYYY!! WOOHOOOOO. and lots and lots of potato saladdddd! Neh's mum's cooking's superrrrr fantastic, i can confirm and place all my life in it! LOLLLL!

okkk.. im really tiredd. time to catch up on some serious precious sleep! -.-zzz

nooob drawings are really not that nooob after all.

2008-11-28T02:29:00.008+08:00

snips!

today's thanksgiving.

& there's so much to thank God for..

2008-11-26T22:03:00.003+08:00

"come on, come on, come on. you're doing great!"

that's the only way i can really motivate myself right now.

to tryyyy to make myself happy!

it ain't thaaat bad.

(hahahahhahahahahahah!)

it's okay that the rest of the girls are having free days alr.

its alright that you're tired,

cos' you're not alone.

it's perfectly fine that you're gonna go through another long night,

cos' today's gon' be the last.

& tmrw, i don't care if i don't ever wake up from my sleep!

DON'T WAKE ME UP!

how motivating :D

i'm in need of happy pills badly!

i think, the pressure that kinda built up over the days really got into me. cos i've not been eating really well these few days. not that i don't want to, but damn it, i can get really major super hungry but when the food comes, i'll feel nauseous. & when i eat, it feels as though i'm being forced to do it. you know that feeling when you really don't have the appetite, and you eat small spoonfuls really slowly & chewing for like eternity cos' you DON'T FEEL like eating, which is so not my case. i can only drink. ):

this week really have to go! FAST!

ohhh greeattt.

my smartass sis just sprayed the perfume that makes my head go groggy!!

in the study room & IM IN THE STUDY ROOM.

"you spray perfume ah?!?!"

"o.o! yaa.... my table here very smelly maaa.."

"AHHHH."

ok, back to CSAS!

2008-11-26T17:39:00.002+08:00

got home, & before i know it,

i was already breaking down.

i'm really tired.