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one in this ♥ world
"The river runs and the river hides, Out to the ocean and under the sky, I promise you, the answer will come, Hold on to patience and watch for the sign, Everything in its time; " |
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about this blog
name's esther & 18's the number. i love potatoes to the ends of the earth and soups like nobody's business. & i believe in a
place "where love lasts forever".tagboard
affiliates
A7K1(: G.I.L ♥ (: Alex. Alvin. BingCong. Carole. Cherie. Chuhui. Emily. Dixie. Fiona. Gwen Hakim. Hannah. Hector. Joanna. Jocelyn. Junhui. Lydia. Nigel. Sharon. Ting Valerie. YanKai. happyther(: archives
credits
Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon. |
i don't feel like having lunch today. i like this quietness. with nobody in the office. just me & His presence.. and the buzzing cannot-even-hear-properly radio. i don't know. im thinking so much again now. i hate thinking. maybe it takes time for us to really realise or find out what we really want. yar. and i guess it takes a whole damn lot of time and realisation to actually find it out. it's that what everybody calls it, soul-searching. it really bothers me to know that what i've sometimes thought i have gotten, is actually still not tightly grasped and captured by me. it really bothers me to know that somethings just slipped off from my hands so easily. i've always tried so hard to hold it tight and hold it close. and when i thought i've finally gotten hold of it, that pleasure, that joy.. i just can't get myself to believe that i've gotten it. but another part of me knew that i won't be able to get hold of it long. it's like a gaseous thing. it slips, it escapes.. i don't know. happyforever:) there is no yesterday, just tomorrow. let bygones be bygones. no quarrels; no coldwar; no unhappy faces. isn't that just what we hoped for? there's definitely going to be quarrels in a relationship, just to bring us closer together so that when one fall, the other is there just to support and push on. i know i'm hot-tempered and doesn't give in. give me some time alright darl, I WILL CHANGE for you. we have to voice out our dissatisfaction if there is alright? if not we will be kept in the dark and thats when a quarrel will happen. okeh? :) today went to watch 'happybirthday' with my darl:) -happy day. but thats when i am worried. you shd know why dear. i know how to respect you keh? dun worry. and dun have that silly idea that my family doesn't like you alright? its just because they don't know you and thats why they are not close to you. get rid of that thought k? no matter wad, i still love you:) i'm always here right beside you to walk with you. always remember that our policy is to BE HAPPY! all i want is eternal love:) Girl: Do i ever cross ur mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: Not really Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or ur life Boy: my life The girl runs away in shock and pain,andthe boyruns after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do anything foryou is because I would do everything foryou. The reason I chose my life is because YOU ARE MY LIFE. (: sigh. im not just bored now. im totally bored. nothing much for me to do today. :( made time pass so slowly. hai. and i just pao another six cups of tea. meaning i need to wash six cups later. so total today, i'm going to wash 22 cups! wow. i nv did that at home. haha. because i don't wash cups. i put them ASIDE. LOL. my hands smell nice now. haha. sarcasm. i've to go home later on by myself. man. this is so not good. because im really sleepy now. but no choice. im on my own. can't wait for 6++++ to come! now listening to YES933 (: luo mi ou yu ju li ye. haw. last week was better. so many paperwork for me to do ((: i LOVE paperworks. haha. but today. i've became a pao cha girl. LOL. oops. ppl saw me le. maybe it's time.
(: happen to read this when im blog-hopping and for goodness sake, im doing it when *-LEAVE HER CUTE TEXT MESSAGES. *-TRUST HER OVER EVERY0NE ELSE. *-TELL HER SHE LOOKS BEAUTIFUL & NOT SEXY. *-LOOK HER IN THE EYE WHEN YOU TALK TOHER. *-LET HER MESS WITH Y0UR HAIR. *-MESS WITH HER HAIR. *-JUST WALK AROUND WITH HER. *-FORGIVE HER FOR HER MISTAKES. *-LOOK AT HER LIKE SHE'S THE ONLY GIRL YOU SEE. *-WHEN SHE STARTS SWEARING AT YOU TELL HER Y0U LOVE HER. *-LET HER FALL ASLEEP IN YOUR ARMS. *-GET HER MAD, THEN KISS HER. *-TEASE HER & LET HER TEASE YOU BACK. *-STAY UP WITH HER ALL NIGHT WHEN SHES SICK. *-WATCH HER FAVORITE MOVIE WITH HER. *-KISS HER FOREHEAD. *-GIVE HER THE WORLD. *-WRITE HER LETTERS. *-LET HER WEAR YOUR CLOTHES. *-WHEN SHES SAD, HANG OUT WITH HER. *-LET HER KNOW SHE'S IMPORTANT. *-LET HER TAKE ALL THE PHOTOS OF YOU SHE WANTS. *-KISS HER IN THE RAIN. *-AND WHEN Y0U FALL IN L0VE WITH HER,TELL HER. *-AND WHEN YOU DO TELL HER. LOVE HER LIKE YOU NEVER LOVED BEFORE. i love you darling! jkcnrusnfkseiurnklae! im feeling jsdfjawncijer now. kdoencuawkejhchseijrjnf uihtfweo! im sorry mummy. i know you're not going to see this. but im really sorry. for throwing my temper at you, eventhough that has got no shit to do with you. and for shouting at you. it's just that the more you said it, the more i got irritated and frustrated about the whole thing. my mood just totally went topsy turvy. and i really can't control it. im sorry that i vented it out on you, like always. i hate it when i just jaisdniqowenjcds on you. especially when you don't deserve it at all. bigsighs. but i know you don't bear grudges. not on me. and that's what makes me so guilty about. because you don't hold on to any grudges. thanks mum. really alot. you know every bit that i went through and am going through and you always know my exact feelings and thoughts. you never once fail to back me up when i know i won't be able to make it on my own. people don't just easily get such wondrous mums like mine. and i really am feeling blessed that i have one. i'm really sorry. i feel shitty now. i want start this year right. and i'm going to. be strong, girl. real strong. im always amazed/aw-ed at how people can transform and use english in such a beautiful way. im just simply not gifted in it. sad. (: haha. sometimes i think, i should just keep my mouth bloody shut and just don't talk. i should not blabber my own troubles to people. yes. the problem might be huge to me, and very dejecting. but to others, they might not think so. and i'll probably end up looking like some idiot trying to find troubles/problems to overwhelm myself. hurh. am i? i don't know. this question suddenly popped up. "what am i? " yar. what am i? what is made up of me? what makes me me? what am i really looking for in my life? what am i looking for in someone? what i need? what i want? .. there's so many random things in my head right now that i don't know what am i really thinking about. it's these kind of feeling that i hate. messed up. i don't like it when i can't think properly, especially when you know those things you're thinking right now are just.. unnecessary. but you can't control your mind. it's like those times when you're simply stoning, and your face is just dead empty, but yet in your head, there's so much things flashing and you don't know what you're thinking about. and then you'll ask yourself a stupid question, " what am i troubling about?" when there's life, there's death. when there's reunion, there's separation. so, when there's happiness, there'll be sadness too. hmm. but i choose not to look it that way. i like it this way. when there's sadness&anguish, there will be happiness. (: though the new year has arrived (quite unknowingly, eventhough i went for the countdown) , i won't stop doing this. i'll make it my nyr(: i will continue grabbing and capturing every happiness in this world, and share it with all of you(: everyone of you. i'll not let myself be defeated by any sadness/pains/tears/heartbreaks that's coming my way, because i know Daddy will be pulling me through all of these shits, so i'm gonna be strong. (: to reach your goal, it's never easy. i know that. there's sure to be potential problems/difficulties to stop us from getting what we' ve been promised to get. and i'm not giving up. because i know, i'm not alone(: i adore all those happy moments. notice it's not love, but adore? (: because it's more than just loving them. you know when little kids get small stuffy toys, and they love it soo much, they hug it so tightly and give the brightest smile ever? that's adoration(: well, i think so. LOL. whatever. i just adore it la. happy moments, with you. i don't know how much you'll treasure me in times to come, or how much you're treasuring me now. but just want to say, thankyou calvinhengjunjie (: for everything. from little things like helping me to squeeze chilli sauce everytime, to giving me the greatest and warmest hug to make me feel like im the most happiest girl in the world. thankyou, that you're in my life. and i thank God too. He's great because He always give me the bestest gifts ever(: i love you honey(: love like there's no tomorrow. |
