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one in this ♥ world
"The river runs and the river hides, Out to the ocean and under the sky, I promise you, the answer will come, Hold on to patience and watch for the sign, Everything in its time; " |
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about this blog
name's esther & 18's the number. i love potatoes to the ends of the earth and soups like nobody's business. & i believe in a
place "where love lasts forever".tagboard
affiliates
A7K1(: G.I.L ♥ (: Alex. Alvin. BingCong. Carole. Cherie. Chuhui. Emily. Dixie. Fiona. Gwen Hakim. Hannah. Hector. Joanna. Jocelyn. Junhui. Lydia. Nigel. Sharon. Ting Valerie. YanKai. happyther(: archives
credits
Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon. |
there's nothing to hug tonight now, & the rest of the coming nights too.. ): take care alright boy. to all sweetlings, the bestest luck specially for you guys for the coming term tests. (: to those who still care, thanks for giving a thought, even if it's just for a split second. because of my hasteness, im going to be left alone in singapore in 1 day's time and endure the rest of next week without my destress ball of fur, my cheerpy bird & my refuge at home. ok, & daddy too ): ): i din check the dates beforehand. and i thought june break is on the first 2 wks of june. so i happily told mummy that i CAN & i want to go for church retreat. it's at Batam. beside the beach! ): i thought i could finally just a get a break from life and go somewhr away and just relax. but how stupid can i be? when i finally managed to get the whole family (emily din want to go at first) persuaded to go, i found out that first wk of june is TERM TEST WEEK. & what? emily's going too & so me & myself will be left at home, and nothing could more worse than staying at home alone, mugging for the papers ): ): thinking bout it now makes me wanna cry again.. & nicki's going away to stay at some place that's ticking off my worry meter. how to study this way?? ): arghhhhhhhh! he's the only one that bothers to lie quietly beside me every night while i study. and now? i know it's only for a few days but.... im gonna miss him like mad......... the whole thing is so getting into me that i couldn't sleep properly last night. i can't help but cry.... stupid stupid stupid stupid! all these aren't helping much when im alr moodless mugging. i really don't feel like studying. what's wrong with me! but still, thanks Neh & family for letting me stayover at their house while my whole house's empty. thanks girl! let's mug, support, stress, siao & 'what ever man' together. LOL. ok, im missing again... )': hope everything'll be fine. pray that everybody go & come back safely. pray that Nick's ok at the new place & not feel lost. pray that term test zoom by fast. pray that.... ): WAH. i was such an airhead last night man! happily started studying Fpath in the afternoon, hoping i could revised thru all since i kicked off quite late. i was really sitting down, cramming all the fresh new printed notes and undigested words on it ok. yes, i've never seen or touch the notes before. so you can imagine what a hard time i went thru trying to memo memo memo thousands of alien theories. THEN NVM. i memo like 3/4 of the first 2 topics alr RIGHHHT, then happened to msg the girls bout our summary report thingy AND THEN RIGHT, i found out RIGHT, from neh RIGHT, THAT I STUDIED ALL THE WRONG TOPICS! SO MEANING FOR THE PAST FEW HOURS, I'VE BEEN WARMING UP MY BACKSIDE FOR NOTHING -.- WAHHH. i really want to go bang my head on the wall manxzxzxzxz. i should be studying topic 1 instead of 2! but ok la, lucky thing is, topic 1's still fresh & cooking in the head. so, nvm la (: but then, the summary thingy is still swarming in my head. but i was really tired alr after all the skipping & sweating in the late hours and sooo, i thought i'll wake up early to do it before i go for 9am's lab. but LUCKY THING IS, i msged and asked Neh --- again. heng man i asked her! because there's like NO lab tmrw? and if i din asked, i'll probably be waking up like 6 in the morning alr -.- -.- -.- what's wrong with me?? but one thing i found out's that, Neh can never be wrong bout stuffs. she knows everythingggg. so ask her confirm correct one. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! and yes! thanks aye woman! : D and this! cool manzxzxz : D
and oh ya! TAG REPLIES. im sorry earthlings that i've not been replying you guys. 'vebeen not good. just wanna rant and run away. so, sorry!
& yo yo yo! im damn high now. WHOOOOEEEEEEEEEEOOOEEEEE : D ! aye PPH! i think we should play chop chilly chop one day! it'll be so funny to the ultimate that you'll get non-stop laughing spasm. confirm chop! right Neh?? LOLLER! XD. ok. can someone please save my bleeding face?? i poured it all out, i let it all out, i cried it all out.. Heal my heart & make it clean, Open up my eyes to the things unseen, thank You for what's revealed, & letting me see what's unseen. it's too much of a coincidence. Show me how to love like You have loved me. now, put in me a heart as big as Yours, cos' I don't want to blame, &, i don't want to hate. Break my heart for what breaks Yours, broken inside, is this what you're feeling too? in the name of your great love, You sacrificed & gave with all Your heart, but some ppl still leave You behind, throwing You aside, forgetting, even. how much more broken You must have felt? Forgive. but then again, no matter how broken you were, you always still turn around &, forgive. (Help me to do it. I can't do this on my own..) this will be the last time i'm letting the teardrops fall. urgh. i don't feel sleepy..
how fragile life can be? the person you've talked to or met a few minutes ago could be gone the next. this may sound all cliche or even rubbish to some of you, but when you've come across with death & loss this close, & unexpected, you'll never say that that is just an overused statement.... the news came to me so much of a shock that i felt very lost all of a sudden at that moment. i felt fear. the fear that im sure im never gonna see this person again. the fear that you initally thought you won't see him only for the day, but no, it's forever.. i was trying really hard to control my tears. but, i couldn't control it any longer when i needed someone to talk to & called mum. the fear is giving me the creeps. too sudden, too unexpected. too unbelievable that i felt my heart skipped a beat when i allow everything to sink in slowly. i was thinking alot & many thoughts surfaced. how comfortable are you getting with life? how much have you took granted of from it? there are so much more important stuff for us to ponder over than fussing over hair, nails, face, clothes & whatever this world can temporarily give. i don't know how to say this all out since im never ever good in words, & yes i know that well. im just really frustrated/saddened or whatever words there may be at how wasted some of our lives are. blinded by what this world is feeding that showing love & compassion out from a pure heart or just plain cherishing is not anymore a priority.. alright, you know what? never mind me... life's way too fragile. here's a little photo sharing session, after so long. (:     she's just too cute : D  darling bfffff (:  my best man, the bald white lamb. (it rhymes!)    ___________________________________________ how fragile life can be? the person you've talked to or met a few minutes ago could be gone the next. this may sound all cliche or even rubbish to some of you, but when you've come across with death & loss this close, & unexpected, you'll never say that that is just an overused statement.... how forgetful can i get? i actually forgot all about my file, leaving it under the tutorial room's table & not knowing its absence until like 4 hours later? after U-Theatre lesson -.- den ok nvm. lesson ended & all of us left. lucky thing is, Nan Xing needed to go SAA and everyone was waiting outside for her. i don't know why we waited outside too with Mel & everyone else but yes, it gave me enough time to realise that my phone's missing -.- -.- -.- okkkk.. to think i can misplace so many stuffs in one day. good job esther. & heng arrrr. i was hoping & praying that tutorial room won't be locked & yes man! :D thank God. (: i hope i can endure through whatever that's coming straight at me this week. with 3 tests slamming down mercilessly & having to work during the wkends aft so much hectic mugging .... Lord, please give me strength. not forgetting, everyone else too. esp those struggling to get past through the days. Amen. (there's more to life than what you think there may be.) ok. im so damn overjoyed that KILLER! IRRITATING! PESTY! FPATH is so over & done with but big suayness now is, my cramps are seriously killin' me. i could hardly walk home just now. & now, i could hardly even sit still for a second! anywaayyys. on a totally random note, i've always find random "i miss you" msgs or notes really sweet. & that it can make someone's day : D & haha! i did just that. i randomly sent a msg to Daddy saying, "爸爸，我想你!" i don't think i've ever said that to him so unexpectedly before & so when i was still thinking that he will probably not respond to it, you know what? he actually called! WAAA SHOCK MANZZZ. & YESSSS! apparantly, i made his day (: what a joy can! :D :D :D there, the small stuffs you do can sometimes bring a big difference to someone else's life. & i believe in that. & again, it's taking up too much of the brain space. & frustrating thing is, i can't rant them off, now. i seriously detest life issues.
hate it hate it hate it!! OMGAWDDDDDDD!!! THE COCKROACHHHHHH!!! screeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmms!
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