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one in this ♥ world
"The river runs and the river hides, Out to the ocean and under the sky, I promise you, the answer will come, Hold on to patience and watch for the sign, Everything in its time; " |
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about this blog
name's esther & 18's the number. i love potatoes to the ends of the earth and soups like nobody's business. & i believe in a
place "where love lasts forever".tagboard
affiliates
A7K1(: G.I.L ♥ (: Alex. Alvin. BingCong. Carole. Cherie. Chuhui. Emily. Dixie. Fiona. Gwen Hakim. Hannah. Hector. Joanna. Jocelyn. Junhui. Lydia. Nigel. Sharon. Ting Valerie. YanKai. happyther(: archives
credits
Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon. |
ive got this weird feeling again. darn. i don't even know why i went to pay for another hour. i've got nothing to do here. and im like totally cut off from the computer? im not sure what's wrong with me la. im drowning in my self-boredom. almost everyday's the same. "im bored", "argh, i've got nothing to do". okay. im starting to pity myself. i feel like some you're-of-no-use kid man. and frankly speaking, i hate it to know that im like this now. with nothing to do, and just spending each day worthlessly. you look like some piece of shit girl. part of me wanted school to start early, and fast. well, mostly because im almost dying of boredom and im in pure self-pity. but some other kuku part of me doesn't want school to start, as though somethings holding me back and im feeling something. i felt fear in me. what's with fear? i cant even answer that question. i don't know why im bearing fear in me. and i've absolutely no idea what im fearing. BAGA! im sooo in love with Inuyasha. ((: im watching it like, almost everyday? and my sis's jus got two more new volumes from her friend. BEAMS! and please la can. im like watching super fast. im almost finishing one volume/thirteen episodes within TWO DAYS. cool huh. this shows how free i am. yes, and i agree. I AM VERY FREE. sigh. and i hate the fact of it. im too bloody free. that im starting to think im in ISOLATION. RAWWWRR! haha. i don't care whether any normal sixteen-going-on-to-seventeen girl will watch that, but i love it okay. it's NOT a cartoon. it's anime. and i love it okay. and im not CHILDISH. there. thinking of the childish part. im starting to doubt bout my self esteem level. you know. self esteem. the most important thing that makes someone feels confident and good about themselves? and in everything they do? im not so sure when im starting to doubt about my whole self, my whole character and basically just, everything about me. i just felt like my self esteem fell like alot since don't know when. and i've never felt like this before. okay maybe before, but that's like super long time ago when im still growing & yar you know, growing. -.- and without that self esteem, i don't feel comfortable in almost everything. i just somehow feel like, im weird. im not suited to be like the way i am now. hey, what you doing man. yar. i felt all those. and it felt horrible. and i don't know why, i'll naturally think of my mum. stupid. well, probably she always makes me feel comfortable. in just about everything. mums are cool. i must say. im now like stranded here in this pathetic com centre la. know why? cos IT'S RAINING OUTSIDE! man. how am i gonna get home like that. that is the reason why i hate not having my own com at home & not having ANY INTERNET CONNECTION. OR ELSE I WONT BE STRANDED HERE. ALL ALONE. everybody's busy nowadays. ok. i feel that they are. everybody's busy with school. adapting, having fun, getting ready and everything. and im like hanging in the air. with nothing else better to do. i know. i sound pathetic. GREAT. im in self-pity again. URGHH. i want to send all the photos in my phone into the com but bloody man i don't have mms and i've got no cable and the phone dont have any mms features so there's no way i can send any photos and i badly want to put up all the photos into the com. and yes, very badly. wow. that's kinda breathless. lol. i miss you all of a sudden. |
